Of Bears and Men

Currently there is a viral debate on whether a woman would rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear.

To the amazement of some and the assent of others, many who present as women chose “bear.”

https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/species/mammals/grizzly_bear/

Currently there is a viral debate on whether a woman would rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear.

To the amazement of some and the assent of others, many who present as women chose “bear.”

Hiking in Colorado, I have encountered a fair number of bears. They run away. I walk briskly in the other direction. Just don’t go near the cubs, secure your food and trash, and you’ll be fine.

Walking around this planet as someone who identifies as a woman, I have encountered many men. The vast majority have not attacked me. But a few have.

What do we learn from this?

One TicTocker broke it down succinctly. “"Women don't want to be attacked by men or bears," notes Kimbo (@justcallmekimbo). "But if I was attacked by a bear, people would believe me, and no one would ask me what I was wearing."

That is it. Patriarchy, a pervasive aspect of human culture, provides cover for men who attack women and girls. There is a culture of shaming and blaming of women and girls for violence perpetrated against them.

Patriarchy does not protect bears in the same way.

If a bear attacked me in the woods, it would likely be captured and killed. Men are often not held accountable for attacks against women and girls as there is a whole system from reporting (“did you invite him in?”) to investigation (“what were you wearing?”) to the judicial system (“why were you on that street at night?”) Many women and girls, assuming they survive an attack by a man, conclude they don’t want to put themselves through that. Underreporting is chronic.

Men know this and in some it fosters a permissive climate of violence against women. In most, it fosters lack of awareness of why women walk around clutching their keys in between their fingers like Wolverine.

Bears may not know they will be killed if they attack humans, but they have certainly learned to fear humans. Even grizzly bears that can weigh up to 800 pounds and grow to 8 feet tall will not attack humans unless provoked or, in the case of female grizzlies, if they believe their cubs are threatened. And humans have driven grizzlies to the brink of extinction.

Men seem shocked and appalled by the idea that those who present as women generally fear them more than bears and some men have responded by advocating wildlife videos about bears.

Mansplaining the danger of bears is not the way forward.

What needs to happen is for men to listen. Really attend to what is being said. It is important for men to get why women and girls fear them more than bears.

I as a woman do not take an elevator if I realize the only other occupant will be a man. I pay the upcharge to valet park my car rather than using the parking garage, especially at night. I carry my keys Wolverine fashion.

If you present as a woman and you are reading this, you know what you’d add to that list.

Insights pop up in our social media culture (remember #MeToo?) and despite trending eventually disappear.

Women fearing men is a profound insight.

Will it disappear? I fear so.

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Published with permission of its author Susan Thistlethwaite.

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You can read more of Susan’s work on her Substack channel, No Fear Religion and Politics